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Thursday, July 31, 2003

heya.now in school lab agn..ahhahas..
we todae doin chinese proj in school...and shyan is helping xj to make the printer..lol...
hahahhas..and shyan is bside me...lalalalala...look at her cute face..lols....
cant help luffin at her manz...:P
thinking of barney's i love u song..hahahas...hazel being lame.
todae during maths..we were doin so mani stupid stuff to unker..LOL...like throw her dog ard...hahhahas..so funz..and hid her bag in the cupboard....hahahas
ahz...not much happened todae..
jzue tt on the way bac to school juz now..ahhahas....hear sum1 toking..thot i was phy..but turn out i was a ......parrot..lol.....then when i sae "u so chio"
then the top feathers all stand up..-___________________--
din know parrots can b so bhb...lol..:P
anw..me betta do do sum work on the tealy stuff..ciaoz...:D...hugz-


hazel Y 5:15 PM |


Tuesday, July 29, 2003

heya.finalli get to use the comp properly aqn..=]
not much happened todae..hahahas...jzue feeling kinda happi and stuff..:P....i shant tell u y...u wanan know then ask me personalli...
hais..tmr is my grade 6 exam..so scared.:s
so scared...and todae had spot check...agN....wad's their prob sia.....everydae spot check..go eat shit sia.
y ahz..so strict...
stupid lor..and tcher kep asking us to make ur blets higher...tsk.kaos.they want is under our chest lor...knn....
hais..and keep bking.
stupid lor...so mani pink falshes of papers everydae.
hais.they might as well put a camera in our uniforms to check on us lors.
sucks.
at this rate right....nobodi will be left in sjc sia.
ahhaas..kaes..
me gotta go do other stuff..ciaoz.
tc*


hazel Y 6:48 PM |


Friday, July 25, 2003

heya....LOL...hahahhas..me now in school...literature class agn
todae....-she- nvr go school...hahahahas!..peace manz.
oh boi...i'm so depressed..over wad?..i dunno.
prob abt yesterdae...kinda worried..ahz...don ask me y.
todae saw..-ahem-...hais...unker...save me....=[
ahz..wad the heck.
todae..don think anihting much is gonna happen....ahz..gotta do anne frank..sians!...
and this morning....we had a second uniform spot check..heng ahz....me nvr kana bked...yat and xl bked lehs...hais..
wad the hell..
the school is all the sudden so strict....
i'm so irritated now...
ciaoz....-hugz-


hazel Y 9:13 AM |


Wednesday, July 23, 2003

* One learns to love, not by finding a perfect person,

but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly..


It was first day of the mid-year exams, therefore i finished school a little earlier, i called him,
:Hey, i finished school earlier today, would you come by and pick me up?

:Alright, give me 5 minutes.

:5 minutes? But my school is just beside your house.

:I need to get ready.

:Alright, make it fast then.

2pm in the afternoon, the sun is extremely hot, I stood under a shaded tree and fan myself.

Although it doesn't make much of a difference, it was better that I fanned.

5 minutes have passed, he's still not shown up, I was a lil' unhappy while looking at my watch.

10 minutes and he's still not here....couldn't be that he was met with an accident?

15 minutes passed, he finally shown up.

:Why are you so late?

He wasn't even a lil' bothered: Nahz, was watching TV.

:What?! TV?! Why don't you sleep, bathe and eat before you come down then?

I haven't got anything else to say for that, didn't take the helmet he handed me but stood there and stared at him.

:Sorry.

This was the first time he said sorry to me...

He is an egoistical person all along and has never once apologised to a girl.

I looked at him, Alright, took the helmet and let him sent me home.

He is always acting like this, no explanations, no friction, no quarrels.

The only thing he does is to apologise. To me, somethings can't be settled with a sorry.

I would never go on asking after everytime he apologises.

He told me, that was the first time he said sorry to a girl.

Although it take courage to admit mistakes, he never once correct his mistakes.

Saying sorry became a word to shut me up instead.

Tears flowed down my cheek on the 59th time he apologised.

I dropped my head: you don't ever need to say sorry to me again.

If you can never change, then don't let me keep giving you chances again and again hoping and believing that you would change each time.

He held me lightly, and said the 60th sorry.

Even then, he did not change, and there was no explanation whatsoever.

I began to worry if there was something he was keeping from me.

:What's wrong with you these few days?

:Nothing.

:Then why are you acting so strange?

:I am not.

:What can you say other than this answer?

:Do you know I'm very woried, very insecure,

do you treat me as your girlfriend?

:I'm sorry...

:I don't want to hear you say sorry again.

I put down the phone and he did not call back.

He doesn't even care about me. Maybe we should....break up.

....this was the 99th time he said sorry...

From that day onwards, I never once called me or went to look for him.

Sometimes I get an anonymous phonecall

but everytime I said hello, it was dead, i think it's a call from him, but why don't he speak up?

After one month have passed, I couldn't contain the feelings I still have for him anymore and went to his school to find him.

I went outside his classroom and looked around, but there was no sign of him.

:excuse me, is XOXO here today?

:I'm afraid he already stopped schooling.

:Huh? Why? When was that?

:He hasn't been in school for a month already.

:Oh erms...thanks.

One month....not in school for one month...why is that so? I stumbled home.

Called his hp: Sorry the caller is currently unavailable, please leave your message after the tone....

I put down the phone, and called his house next, but there was no answer.

How can it be? The whole family migrated?

It seems as though he has already disappeared from the face on the earth leaving not even a single trace.

I couldn't find him....just as I was feeling distraughted, the phone suddenly sounded, it was my friend.

He was one of his brothers and also my good friend.

:Hey, what have you been doing? XOXO is in hospital.

:REALLY? WHAT HAPPENED?

:Oh he is in ZZ hospital, the one you stayed in last time.

:I'll be right there.

I used the fastest speed my legs could carry and when I reached the hospital I saw that his parents were already there.

I asked them for the room number and flew across the hall.

He was lying on bed, looking at me, not saying a word, not moving a muscle,

:Hey, what happened to you? Why didn't you contact me?

He did not answer, and used the same stare on me again.

:Come on answer me...why don't you speak?

A tear flowed down the side of his eye, and it looked as though he used the greatest amount of strength that he could master to say...

:I'm...sorry...

After that, his eyes went shut.

:Hey, don't fool around alright...why say sorry to me?

:Don't say sorry to me....please wake up....answer me please.

I wept and fell down on the side of his bed, pulling his shirt I cried out..

:Why do you have to apologise? Why don't you give me an explanation instead?

:I won't forgive you, wake up, saying sorry is no use...

:If you don't wake up I'll never ever forgive you in this lifetime, please I beg of you..open your eyes.....

That was the 100th sorry

A group of medical staff, doctors, nurses pulled me away and tried to revive him. I had no strength to stand up...

My mind was a blank.... my eyes could only see a sea of black.

He did not leave this world...I merely lost the chance to touch him anymore.

But he would appear in my dreams sometimes, telling me how he was doing.

He's still accompaning me, still alive, in my heart.

would still laugh at my silliness, and call me his darling....just that...he never apologise to me anymore.

After a month, his mom came to look for me, and gave me a box...inside was

a 100 photographs, everyone had a story behind them..the reasons why he made me angry.

The first time, my dear, I did not purposely arrive late to pick you up.

I know this excuse is really lame, but I didn't have the heart to tell you the truth then,

before I stepped out of the house, I felt a pain in my chest, but I still made it a point to meet you, please forgive me?

The second time, my dear, I...

The third time, my dear, I...

The 100th time, my dear, I didn't mean to leave you alone in this world,

It had to be so because God did not give me the chance to say I Love You for this lifetime of mine, and to put the ring on your finger....

You are the first girl I apologised to.

And also the first girl I want to be with for the rest of my life...

Forgive me for not able to bring you happiness but I have thus become your angel, always looking out for you...

Looking at you while you find your happiness...promise me...don't shed a tear...

I don't want to see you weep like this for me, I Love You ~XOXO

How can I not cry? What you said was just too impossible.

The last photograph was of him in the hospital,

Although he was skinny, the smile on his face was bright as ever.

His face was white and yet he tried his best to give his last smile on the last photo, the 100th.


At the time when he needed me the most, I wasn't with him.

:I'm sorry.

I held the photo tightly and cried for us.....

...omg...so touching...nearly cried...=/
ahz...so sad.
imagine if this eva happenes to me.hais.
-sighs-
tmr we gotta dress properly....our uni must be neat..and long..wif haigh belts...ahz..wad the heck.me borrowing uni frm voon hern..else later i kana booking...=/
hmm..todae nth much happened...just tt me damn sians....and mr arman..hais...he ahz...dunno y ask mdm foo to take ova our class...everybody was looking forward to history lors..
hahahas
oh yar..and my mum lodge a complaint to my school for not doin anithing abt the withdrawnal of bus service 85..LOL....hahhas...then just now mrs chan made an announcement tt all monitresses r to tell them how mani pple take 85 to school...
LOl...thanks to my mum manz....=]..lame lame.
i'm so bored....now listenining to touching reflections.
tmr gort class foto taking..must smile nicely sia..ahahhas...jzue now xj was in the toilet..and we were imitating -her- smile...so fake sia.and she even bring a damn make up thingy..i think it's blusher lto school...kaos ehz.
vain means vain.i nowadaes find most gurls irritating lor....like all damn fake..and loud.and act chio..maybe u will think tt i'm one...but then agn...do i gif a damn..juze hate hyprocrites and backstabbers.
pple like...
blah blah..
don like me then tell me lor.dun nid to tok bad behind me and act so well in front of me lor.
fucking bastards..and pls gets the facts right before u sae anithing lor...cockeye.




hazel Y 6:11 PM |


Tuesday, July 22, 2003

heya...so long nvr update liaoz...buRp`..juze ate dinner..so nice...love the chicken..:D..yum yum.
hmm....todae.....three tchers asked me to shut up!.....mrs tan sae tt i tok too much.....wad alot of change in me...crap..she know me well ahz.
pengz....
then ms chew...oso sae i tok alot.
then mrs ho....sae if i tok finish alreadi....damn!...*self examining*....am i that talkative?..kae...to play safe..i shall shut up for tmr...ahhahas!
yar..todae mrs tan pms.....we cum into class she kaopeh liaoz...sae our class damn noisy...then want to book us...then she realli bk lehz!....no lahz..actualli later she sae she bring mrs das here...but turn out we all go down to office..sit in str8 row..pengz..and listen to them tok...toi gort in to trob..coze she sae bye bye to mrs tan when she sae she want to bk the class..lol...-no cooments-
toi blufed....sae she sae bye bye to me.
now turn out both of us cant go for art lesson next time...damn her lahs..she ask me and toi to stand outside class lehs.
die die.
wad the hell..oh yar..cut my hair agn...ahhahas=x
me so bored....jzue now felt like puking.and the bus i took...156 frm bishan..broke down..ahahahhaas...wad the hell...
lalalalas...i'm bored....
hais....me yesterdae haf training..hahahas..kana abit sunburnt..LOl...
i'm bored agn...lustening to swing swing..
ahz...oh yar..mrs tan called my class to go to hell....damn her.ahz..wad the hek..cant be bothered..me ciaoz liaoz..gotta help stupid toi to make her stupid template.




hazel Y 8:33 PM |


Friday, July 18, 2003

ahz watevar..lost my entire entry tt i typed juze now..damn!
now in school lab...got the best seat..tcher cant see wad r we doin...hahahas...wad the hell right.
hmm..anw....me todae not in the best mood..so don mess wif me manz...=/
dunno lahz...it's the last of the damn tests manz..:D..woOohoo...lit was quite okayz..still cant manage..:D
lalalala....gotta do sum anee frank stuff now..kk..ciaoz...
love* u all...tho i'm irritated now.....so mnai bimbos...and hyprocites ard...wad rubbish is this.
heya....me jzue bakc frm school...ahhahas....
damn...
SUM INDERT WENT TO TEAR MY TABLE THE PLASTIC..AND TOOK MY SHORTY SKATEBOARDS BIG STICKER.damn tt bastard...and i bet it's the sec 3s or sumthing....kaoz.
i'm so pissed.
after school went to pamper myself with a earring i bought..a spike...i love it.:D...felt betta.
hahahas...me ahz...and on the bus..there's this grp of bois...quacking?...they were like...quack and quack..
pengz.
hahahas..kaes...me so tired.....
save me.
i cant stand -her- animore..even jo told me tt her head hor..behind view see liaoz...feel like strangling...LOL....ahahhas
realli.
i shall try one dae...:P....
kk..ciaoz...hugz--


hazel Y 9:22 AM |


Wednesday, July 16, 2003

heya..finally get to sue the comp..whOppee...
so borings.
this whole week is test and test...damnit.
and i confirm flunked my chinese and maths liaoz lahz!...tho history paper todae was....okayz?..lol...can rmb most of the stuff..but betta not sae first..scarly i flunk oso..=x...hmm..todae after school..went to cp....look at earrings..all so nice...and biG....my kind..lol..and yat wanted to drink hooch..and kim...tsk tsk...she..st*le a cherry...oh boy..and sum cold storage guy caught her..LOl...and told her sum stuff...ahhahas..and she was still eating it in front of him..hahahas..pengz..gort such probate one sia..lol...
yupz....and me and jo..being bo liaoz..took mrt to kova...and we saw this kid...crying..lol...so sad lor....and he was like lost or sumthing....ahz.feel so sad now...rmbing his face..makes me feel sad manz..lol..and on the way home...saw sum kids crying too...wad the hell...everybpdy is crying....lol
me crappi liaos...
me feel like piercing third hole..lol...but jo sae tt my ear too small....dots.
yupz...pai anot..no right..hahahas./...look at yattie's ear....me supa guai compared to her liaoz lor...LOL...
hmm...todae the damn goose nvr cumm to school...no wonder so funz todae..
and oh yar....todae during history class....mr arman toked abt maria hertogh or sumthing life....so sad!....drug addict and stuff..so sad...if i was her....i would jzue end my life by commiting suicide...=/
\-shrugz-
hmm...phy told me be4.."love is everything.and everything ends wif nuthing."
i think it's so darn true.
hahhaas...dunno lahz..and on last sundae..went to clementi...i think this sundae i goin down agn...
yupz..so mani pros now..ahz!..and jay kor....wad the hell..gort his whole cheerleading squad...lol.....-no comments-
yupz...oni me not improving....ahz..i gort lest than a week to decide if i want to chenge to sabre!....damn it!
oh boy..it's like so dark now....
and it's 7...me wnana go watch holland v laioz..:D....ciaoz....tc..losta loves.*


hazel Y 7:07 PM |


Saturday, July 12, 2003

I am not a type of music
You're nothing, really. But you're nice.


What type of music are you?
brought to you by Quizilla




heya...so long nvr update..lol...
lalalalas todae xj and jo came to my hse to do proj..so boring kaes...and we were like...Zzzz.....
hmm...xj is like confused oso....like me liddat....=/..hais...wad's love manz?!....a game of confusion?
hahahas...crap....and toi is soOOo copy catish...no wonder she's a cat...-.-....look at her blog manz....pengz...and you'll know....
tmr goin to clementi...wif coreen...yuppies..so excited..i'm missing all the fencers manz...and i'm gonan see my fellow rgs mates..oh yucks.
:P
sorrie kel...but i reealli hate rgs pple....they're so stucked up.
u know sumthing...
my bro once told me..
"wif that foul mouth of yours...you're get beaten up by sum1 one dae."
i think tt's quite true..lol...coze when i wanan scold or comment sumthing mean on anithing///i'll jzue shoot out manz...:P...boy..sum1 save me!!!..give me a scotchtapy manz...
lol...me so crappy...
hais..kim wanna quit the gf thingy..i mean...i feel it's like ova a small matter than lidat lor.
she's like making it so big...-.-....wanna quit?...gort such thing manz...i mean..we started this mater becoze we're close frens..now u call it quits...?...means u don wan the frenship animore?
oh boy...i don understand her..i mean...if u want rui wen to be in...put her in lahs....no1 stopping u....
and no1 is siaming her lors....
=/
-shrugs-
hazel stop to think for a while-
i realli don understand!....lalalalalala..ahz...dunno..it's up to her....=/
hais...
i'm so darn bored these daes....ahz!..and i hafven d/l so mani songs manz..
kaes...me betta go d/l and study a bit later manz....ciAoz.....hugs--


hazel Y 8:19 PM |


Thursday, July 10, 2003

heyz...
me so sians....juze now during lesson..toi was telling me tt i'm the most tomboi,vulgar,violent,loud and lowest belt gf of all the gfs...wad the hell..craps lahz u guys..lol
jzue now caught in the rain..and haf a heart to hear tok wif nicki. found out tt life is fulll of decisions...and god always make man think..make things confusing...and we haf to take the time to solve it....to get ovar it...=///...realised..i'm not the oni one here tt is experiencing all this...
hmm...todae....saw her..Duh....sucker....i observed that she everything oso ver i fake...ahz..heck..dun care if i'm mean..jzue hate her.
yupz..and jzue now was sucking on the lolipop mrs ho gave us..lols.....=D...yuppies...and i ate mee pok agn!....lol....
yupz.managed to finish the history proj..now left science..lol...=/..so mani projs..wnana die..and i had a headache jzue now....boy boy...

hais.....i dunno...wad i want.
thinking abt it agn....why.why.why.
why am i'm so confused..when the answer is jzue there.?
i'm jzue too scred of hurting your feelings....i'm sscared to misuderstood u.
i cant make myself blieve wad people said.but.i oso dun want to doubt.
wad abt the other?
i'm jzue too confused.
why cant i be clear.
why cant be decisive.
why am i always like this.
so mani questions.so mani doubts.juze no solution.

who is telling me the truth.
with peers pressuring me.
juzt wanan make me sae give up
but.
but.
i cant.//*
i'm oni liking u more and more.
but.
iis that right.?
nvr wish of hurting u.
but.
so many buts in my life.
why.
so many whys in my life.
but why.
must all this happen.?

why.
why put me in this state.please guide me.tell me.hold me.
make me know wad i want.

*God..tell me the truth.tell me wadevar that i want to hear.ease this confusion and depression frm me.help me God.*

// someone gif me a hugz please. \\


hazel Y 5:49 PM |


Wednesday, July 09, 2003

screwed!
screwed!
tmr gootta pass up the history proj..and my grp is still slacking!....ahz...i'm like..so messy and stuff now..cant think proper.y..yeahz..juze now rezer..xj and jo came to my hse....chaos lmanz...everybody was so rushy...except xj..becoze she finish the proj liaoz...-.-
ahz!
screams...how how how?
die die die
later jo cuming online..and she doin the power point..and i send ova info..hope everything's fine by tmr....=/
todae..me and xj was imitating white goose walking....LOl..at metro..killing time while waiting for jo...lol..damn farni..xj look like lehs....coool manz....cant stand her face sia....please please...hahahas....
bleargh...kk...hafven bathe..so stinko....
ciaoz...gotta do proj.*




hazel Y 7:09 PM |


Tuesday, July 08, 2003

heyz!..so damn tired.
me jzue back frm town...went to check out miss selfirge(blah blah)spelling.-.-...LOl...bought a pink pretti top frm there...y back woh...hazel is turning gurlier!!....:P...craps**...lalala..we saw so mani farni stuff..and iw as feeling super spastic and stuff..and we were playing and being a fool of oursleves..:P...i'm so ashamed..LOL...me still so spastic!!...ahz..sum1 save me..ahhahas..spent quite a while in the dressing room...LOl....oh boy..typical shopping..esp i was wif xl..wad do ya expect frm us manz..:P.....Lol..and we were like rushing..coze she forgot abt her history proj..so had ta go back all the way to amk..and we were brisk walking to her blk..and we're like....flagging for ani cabbies tt passed by...-.-...lol
yupz..and ran into school....:P...can picture right...this two gurls..panting and panting...:P...
yeahz...so mani farni stuff happened..and u guys should go and check out this place...dhouby mrt station..jurong->woodlands..
the end of the waiting area..so damn scary manz...u guys go and see...dunno y..gort the eerie feeling...lols....like sum ju on scene...ahhaas..hazel the lamer!
:P..
lalalalala.todae.saw her.sucks...and i felt like pukin...:P...and when i went town wif xueling..and i was like....a..this blouse is nice and stuff..when i see a supa pink top..and i will be like...ee..remind me of her....and stuff...
hmm
mayb i'm having pms...so heck care abt me manz..:P..juze cant stnd her....it's like..wif one push..and she falls down?..or even a small pinch or slap on the back..she scream?..as if the world's gonna end?
hais..watevar.so wad if she knows tt i hate her?
i don gif a damn...ahahhahas.....hazel...getting rebellious and aggressive..oh yar
todae during art time...the tcher having sum shit pms or sumthing...sae i tok alot..ask me stand outside the class....so i was like.."wth"..
then went out to stand...but she seemed like she bo chup lehz..so i walked back into class agn...-.-....lols
hais...watevar..she's like..."anithing....i'm gonna book u!"
-.-...fuck off lahz...i burnt your book then u know lahz...book ke sai lahz....:P....
kk...enuff..gotta print stuff...take carez.:D


hazel Y 8:34 PM |


Monday, July 07, 2003

heyz...me now sun burnt..can see the sleeve line and stuff..-.-...lol..me morning...when the rooster hafven even wake up..wake up laioz ahz...me follow bro go kallang there to lawn bowl...funz...but not realli my kinda sport...coze it's like..slow?
hahahas....lalalala....juze read the stuff in my taggie...oh manz..realli ahz..the fish die liaoz?!...amen.
-.-....so sad...thot it would be a pet....but damn the tortoise!!!....:P
hais...me juze back frm tution....so sweaty and stuff..and my face is still red frm the sun burnt and stuff..lol...lalalalalalalalalals....i'm running out of stuff to type!!!
pengz///
hmm...tmr school starts agn..sucks.!and kel is nagging and preaching abt his experience in goin to ijtp carnival..please!...kor don be so des!!...:P...gort a feeling i'm gonna be thrashed...nahz...how can kel eva thrash me ehz..:P....me crapping liaoz lahz...
kaes..me damn hot and sticky.....yEeeks.....kk..ciaoz...damn!..jzue rmbed i hafven do finish my hwk!...dead--


hazel Y 7:00 PM |


Sunday, July 06, 2003

heyz yo...morning...juze finished eating...and bathing...lol...me later goin to gym wif julianna to work out manz...:D....hmm..breakfast was okayz...lol....wad's tt for manz...lalalas...hahahas...and tmr..i'm gonna change my tution..and go lawn bowling wif my bro...hahahas...he asked me to drag jo along....cant contact her last night manz....hahas...anibodi wanna cum?!....lol....tmr...need to wake up super early to go wif him...7++ in the morning manz...snorezzzzzz..sumore it's at kallang i think...-shrugz-....but funz manz....happi youth dae guys~!
me yesterdae was thinking how mani daes will i need to starve to get the skateboard...lol...boy..it's like....i'm like sum african poor pple....half dead jzue to get the board...boY...
hahahahs...lamer....my boy keep puting pressure on me....rollerbalding ard the damn hse!....-.-..and my parents were like...."gurl...u know how to rollerblade...."
and i act cool..sae.."i'm not interested..."
LOL....and i sae.."i want skateboard..not this."
hahahas!
realli wad..i want manz...sumoNe Save mE!!!!....-faintz.-
tt's enuff for now...gotta walk to church later manz....for sundae classes....sigh//..dread goin....=p


hazel Y 8:52 AM |


Saturday, July 05, 2003

heyz yo....it's morning!!..wOhooo...slpt for more than 10 hrs...feel betta...after a whole lot os shit tt happened within this pathetic first week of school manz..sucks.
anw...yesterdae was so damn cold manz...i'm like..sneezing..so had to wear sum jackets...lols...i'm so weak...
lalalalalalalalala....ran outa things to sae..:P


hazel Y 10:01 AM |


Friday, July 04, 2003

hey...new blog manz..hazel...how mani blogs must u haf?!....
pengz..lols...me crapping..welll well....kk...let's try and see how it turns out manz....


freshmaker
Tan Siaw Kern Hazel
Roxanne
3rd June 1989,gemini


adores
colour red
coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
jash(:
gym freak


loved
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